The world mourned the sudden loss of Paul O’Grady in March 2023, a comedian whose vibrant spirit touched countless lives. He was 67, and his passing from a sudden cardiac arrhythmia left a void in the entertainment world.
But emerging now is a poignant detail about the weeks leading up to his death. Despite medical advice, O’Grady made the difficult decision to decline a potentially life-saving implantable defibrillator, a choice driven by an unwavering commitment to his work and those who relied on him.
He was deeply immersed in multiple projects at the time – captivating audiences on a UK tour as Miss Hannigan in *Annie the Musical* and continuing to film his beloved *For The Love of Dogs*. The thought of interrupting that momentum, of letting anyone down, weighed heavily on him.
Close friend and BBC Radio 2 producer Malcolm Prince revealed O’Grady’s reluctance to return to the hospital for another procedure and the subsequent recovery period. He simply wanted to live, to work, and to fulfill his obligations, prioritizing the joy he brought to others.
A message to his daughter, Sharyn, revealed his dismissive attitude towards the cardiologist’s recommendation. He felt he wasn’t as ill as suggested, and firmly stated, “No way am I having one of them.” It was a testament to his resilience and perhaps, a quiet defiance against his own vulnerability.
His manager, Joan Marshrons, understood a deeper fear at play. O’Grady worried about losing control, about the potential embarrassment of the device activating during a performance or while filming. The thought of being vulnerable in front of an audience was profoundly unsettling.
These intimate details, and a broader exploration of O’Grady’s remarkable life, are shared in a new book, *Paul O’Grady – Not The Same Without You*, offering a deeper understanding of the man behind the laughter.
Recently, his final resting place was completed after a two-year wait, adorned with a quote that perfectly encapsulates his philosophy: “The greatest thing in the world is to know how to be one’s own self,” a sentiment borrowed from the French philosopher Michel de Montaigne.
His husband, Andre Portasio, expressed profound relief and gratitude as the headstone was finalized, acknowledging the lengthy process and thanking those involved. Despite the enduring pain of loss, Portasio finds solace in knowing O’Grady’s resting place now reflects his true spirit.
The grave also serves as a touching tribute to Brendan Murphy, O’Grady’s long-term partner who passed away in 2005, a testament to the enduring power of love and remembrance in the face of heartbreak.
